Solomon prayed for wisdom (cf today’s first Mass reading, 1 Kings 3.5, 7-12). I wonder how many of us do so on a regular basis — or do we pray for success, the achievement of some aim, or what we have decided would be good for someone else? I ask because during the last few weeks I have been so busy that the only thing to keep me anchored in any semblance of reality has been prayer, both liturgical and ‘private’. I haven’t asked God for anything except wisdom, knowing perfectly well that he will take care of all the people and concerns we commend to him day by day, hour by hour. But wisdom? Ah, yes. Left to myself I make a hideous mess of things. I need wisdom to guide me every minute. What I do or don’t do, what I think or say, has an impact on others as well as myself. The monastic timetable may seem, and in many respects is, inexorable; but within its constraints there are opportunities for individual choice.
I can be selfish under the guise of ‘needing’ to do x or y; I can be irascible ‘because I’m tired’, which means no one will make any demands of me; I can put off doing what I ought because something of lesser importance attracts me and so ‘justifies’ my preference. What I need is wisdom to help me make the right choice — one that promotes peace and love, not in a vapid, hippyish way but in a way that finds its origin and end in God himself, through discipleship and sacrifice. That is a tough call only God can answer — which is reason enough to ask him, surely?