St Benedict ends his discussion of the first step of humility with a reprise of what he said at the beginning: we must keep constant guard over our desires (RB 7.24–30). Not, you notice, over our actions alone, the concrete deeds we think of as sin, but also over our attractions and appetites, the concupiscentia that draw us from God. Benedict here confronts us with a very important truth. We sin in the will before we do or say anything sinful. We consent to that which is less than God, and that is the only chink in our armour that evil needs. Most of us probably tend to gloss over that. We don’t commit the big sins; ours are more like endearing little foibles. Only they aren’t. Compared with the infinite holiness of God, any sin, no matter how trivial it may seem, is horrible. That shouldn’t make us scrupulous in the bad sense, but sometimes we do need to cultivate an awareness of the moral significance of our thoughts and actions. We don’t occupy neutral territory.
Today is the feast of St Michael and All Angels. We usually think of St Michael as our great defender against evil, God’s champion; and so he is. But the role Benedict assigns the angels in today’s portion of the Rule is one of surveillance. They are constantly reporting on us to God, a kind of heavenly GCHQ. It is an uncomfortable image, and I think it is meant to unsettle us. Good and evil, wisdom and folly, life and death: these choices confront us every day in the detail of our lives. Only at the end will we see the whole pattern, but God sees the pattern now and he waits, tenderly, patiently, as only a loving parent can, hoping that we will amend. Our first step in humility is to become aware of God and it is only possible because he is so keenly aware of us.