Two Hairy Brothers: 5

Letter from Bro Dyfrig BFdeB to Bro Duncan PBGV

Howton Grove Priory

7 July 2017

Dear Cousin Dunc,

I trust you are very cheery up there in Beyond. We don’t seem to have heard from you for a long time. Now I have a problem and need your advice.

I’ve been in a bit of hot water recently. Nothing too serious, but clearly They don’t think much of my eating Their supper (it was yummy!) or burying six bones, one after the other, in the flower-beds, or examining the contents of the waste bin by tipping it all over the floor, etc. They’ve begun referring to you as the Blessed Bro Duncan PBGV and I feel that a comparison is being made. I’m Touri the Terrible, the Ginger Fiend, Our Little Thug. Where am I going wrong? Don’t They love me anymore?

Love and licks,

Bro Dyfrig xx

Letter from Bro Duncan PBGV to Bro Dyfrig BFdeB

The Heavenly Houndland

9 July, 2017

My dear Bro Dyfrig,

Nice to hear from you, young sprog, and my apology for the delay in replying. An awful lot of PBGVs seem to have come to the Heavenly Houndland recently, and we’ve been having lots of Peeb parties. Great fun!

As to your problem, oh dear! I think we have got to get a few things straight or you may go seriously wrong. Nothing will ever change Their love for you, absolutely nothing. I’m sure They call you Touri the Terrible or Little Thug in an affectionate tone of voice. Yes, They will get exasperated if you eat Their supper or dig up all the flowers or empty out smelly waste-bins and whatever else is implied by that ‘etc’ of yours. Human Beans are like that. But They are like our Heavenly Master in this respect. They know that we are the apple of His eye, and so we are of Theirs. The problem They have is They can go all gooey and forgiving when They see our big noses and hairy whiskers, but They are much harder on Their own kind. They tend not to forgive but only put others on probation: ‘do that once more and . . . .’ It is our job to help Them see They’ve got to be kind to those who aren’t blessed with four paws and eyes like melting chocolate buttons. We have to help Them become more dog, in fact, and love everyone — even the most trying.

Of course, I have to admit that eating Their supper is not a very good idea. I never did that, though I did share some goodies — mainly cheese and bikkies, as I recall. But I never stole them. You need to learn the art of staring reproachfully at Them, so that They give in and share with you. Human Beans do something similar when They pray. They stare at God (They call it ‘contemplation’) and He responds — not always in the way They’d like, of course, but He doesn’t ignore Them. I don’t really understand how They get away with it, not being as handsome or hairy as we are. It is all a great mystery, and I am content to leave it like that. I just know it works. Encourage Them in that.

Well, young sprog, I’ve got another party to go to. You’ll love it up here. Nothing but eating and merry-making all day long. Sheer Peeby bliss! And there’s a special spot for Fauves — and Human Beans — too.

Your affectionate old cousin,



8 thoughts on “Two Hairy Brothers: 5”

  1. One of the odd things human beans seem to do is to talk about those who are ‘beyond’ as if they were saints and perfect. In reality, none of us are perfect (not even BigSis I fear)(and maybe the sainted Duncan wasn’t in reality). It seems to me our job is to be the best Dog we can be, and invite them to love us as we are.. as Bro Duncan says, it might help them to love each other as they are. Mind you, it’s a challenge to love some hoomans, even for us dogs! I love Duncs’ favourite line “be more dog”! Absolutely right!

    Maybe if we are free to be,the dogs god made us to be, they would be free to be the human beans god called THEM to be….


      • You may be perfect now uncleDunc, my point is you probably weren’t when you were in the monastery. But you were the best Duncan you could be, that I’m sure about. Young Touri can’t be Duncan, sadly. They threw away the mould when they made you.

        Pleased Beyond is good. Are there any rabbits to chase? Dying to chase rabbits….

  2. Our Cats have read the two missives from the Canine, hairy brothers, and had a bit of a hissy fit.

    Their disdain for sitting and begging with googgly eyes is quite marked – why do that sort of thing when you can just demand ‘now slave’ and the human beans leap to serve you.

    None of that cosying up to get things – just like beautiful sleek and well groomed is enough to get you whatever you want – it is a law of nature that Felines Rule, while Canines beg – something about status, granted by the Almighty to put the pecking order in such as Felines, human beans and Canines.

    • Ah! But you see…the point is that canines merely *allow* felines to *think* that they are superior to keep the Beans in their real place (ie third position…dawg, kat, bean) without causing a row that might involve hissy fits, miaows and sharp claws. Just remember ‘the hound of heaven’…..who ever heard of the ‘kitten of beyond’?

      *entire post written by Flo the hairy Lurcher, late of this parish…..

      • Our felines know that Canine types are deluding themselves. The Hounds of Hell need a bone to be available 24/7, while felines are able to partake of their food on the hoof so to speak.

        And if you ever experience one of our felines in full, outright rage – they make the hounds of hell sound like toy poodles 🙂

  3. Absolutely brilliant. Thank you Sister Catherine as I am in hospital reading this having come round from an op to remove a nasty gallbladder! I think this must have been arranged because one isn’t in the mood for heavier spiritual reading now I have time on my hands, just holding on. And what a place trying to practice Patience.
    Prayers for your treatment is a good start!

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