Anniversaries

Each of us carries within a personal calendar: this day is important because I met so-and-so, because I did such-and-such, because something or other happened. Despite the proliferation of social media and the ease of sharing online, these personal calendars tend to be very private. Earlier this week a friend asked me to pray for his mother on 29 October and I said I’d have no difficulty remembering because today is also the anniversary of my own mother’s death. He was immediately contrite, as though he should have known, but why should he? He was empathizing with me from the way he would feel had the situation been reversed. That was generous. It was also kind, literally, expressing kinship with me.

Clock time and emotional time do not always coincide, nor do we always know why someone who is usually bright and bouncy is a little sad or subdued. Sometimes we need to ask; sometimes we don’t. The one thing that is never out of place is kindness and a prayer.

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7 thoughts on “Anniversaries”

  1. I have a few days imprinted in my mind where I know the actual date something happened etc. One of those is the 5th November. In 2008 my grandma passed away on that date which was so sad (and even now I miss her so much) then on the 5th November 2009 we moved into our first “owned by us rather than renting” house. Grandma would have loved the garden 🙂

    • Thank you, Hannah. Grandmothers are very precious and it’s great that you’ve got such warm memories to treasure. Great, too, that the sadness of 2008 should be transformed (in some ways) by the happiness of 2009.

  2. It would be so fitting if our tears of sadness were able to wash the feet of Christ.Even knowing that the faithful departed are with Him, the need to call them and share daily stories never leaves us. I will light 2 candles for the repose of these souls.

  3. The ancient Greeks had two words for time; chronos and kairos.

    Chronos is the time in which we live; it is the sequential time we sometimes call the fourth dimension but, unlike the first three dimensions, we have no freedom within it. We cannot move through it but only with it in a constant direction at a constant rate, although sometimes we perceive it to go slower or faster in some situations or under some circumstances.

    Kairos is a time of rightness, an opportune moment, a moment in which something special happens. Perhaps we might think of Kairos as God’s time, when events, emotional or otherwise, of his choosing happen at the moment he has decided for them. These I think are the important anniversaries we need to remember.

    • Thank you, Jim. While I imagine most readers of this blog will be familiar with the distinction between chronos and kairos, I wonder how many would agree with your conclusion? We remember the apparently trivial as well as the significant, whether we need to or not.

  4. the question of time is of course always belonging to God. The little things , particularly to do with Mothers love and kindness, these are the lasting heartaches.

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